voice | un: vsmith | spoilers SH3
We're all just posing questions to each other for fun, right?
Then, is immortality wrong for mortals to experience?
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Then, is immortality wrong for mortals to experience?
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death talk continues/likely throughout
[More incredibly normal and typical reactions from Osamu Dazai.]
Anyway, you're missing the point of what I'm asking. I know that death is inevitable after losing 0.53 gallons of blood or after the destruction of a vital organ. The question isn't whether you would've died from your wounds, which any reasonable person can be certain of depending on the circumstances, but how you know you actually died. Even recorded accounts of patients resuscitated after clinical death vary in terms of the subjective experience of the individual, after all. Yet, there's an inevitable process of loss of consciousness that occurs between the cessation of your heart and reaching a state of irreversible brain death, the length of which is debated by neuroscientists.
[This is the man you need to work with for a whole mission, I'm so sorry Vincent.]
Can you guarantee you were disrupted from your universe after the latter point? Or did you simply pass out from the second blow, in a situation where no resuscitation could've realistically occurred?
[He does have a genuine reason for being pedantic about this, at least. Not that he's going to be upfront about it.]
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[ His shoulders bounce in an idle shrug. ]
I'm glad that you're a reasonable person to understand that much. Don't worry. That lunatic destroyed the heart in the second attack. [ If he's upset about the questions, he doesn't show it. If anything, he's confirming himself that he's dead. Why? Well -- that'd be telling. ] Anyway, a person died here and was resurrected. I'm under the impression that's -- while not common place because we're not psychopaths -- is something that happens to the dead here.
Isn't that enough confirmation that I died and was brought here?
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[Though the implications are a bit alarming when he considers that Sam's corpse was supposedly literally eaten, which either means 1) Hannibal was lying 2) Echo has the power to recreate an identical copy of a dead body from scratch and replace a consciousness within it. Occam's razor would suggest the former explanation, but he'll reserve judgment for now. More important is the following:]
But it's considerably different if Echo is able to reverse death outside of those parameters, from various worlds with different metaphysics, which presumably aren't as readily monitored in real time.
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He pauses to mull over what he's said versus what is being said. Because he is nothing if not a hypocrite.
What do people know? He died and was stabbed twice by a lunatic. Fine.
But, if people compare notes, he is of a religious background of the Holy Woman... 'ch. He shouldn't have said that -- anyone close to Silent Hill might recognize Her name. But he thinks he only said that to one person. Saying his God is a woman isn't too damning and if he remains vague about where he came from ... he could be from anywhere. Okay.
Evaluation of what is known about him carried through. He nods then realizes right he should answer what is being prompted. ]
Aren't you being a little too logical about this? No, rather aren't you asking the wrong question?
If Echo can't reverse death, then how can she save universes?
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[Which in its own right is concerning, honestly. What happens when you don't comply? How immediately does it happen? Or was that answer its own sort of test?]
To my understanding, what Echo-san intends to do is not save universes directly, but preserve the integrity of the multiverse by culling some of the individual universes within it. What we're here to do is convince Echo-san to spare ours from destruction.
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So, that said, with the power she is said to wield, why do you believe she suddenly is fallible in this one thing?
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At this point, what are you arguing? We were chosen at random and she decided to choose a corpse. What of it?
I was just an average person with no "powers." [ He tries to use the word as someone who has never experienced such before. ] It is far odder that I was chosen out of anyone else, honestly.
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[He's definitely not about to give away his reasons for wanting to know quite specifically what state Vincent's corpse was in. The hollow cheer that was briefly absent in his tone as he'd gotten serious returns, just as abruptly.]
If you don't know, that's fine! I was just curious~
Imagine the potential value of our experiences to science!
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You aren't just curious.
You're looking for something in my revival here.
[ His words shift to vitrolic snarling. ]
Do you think I enjoyed dying? That it was fun? And now having some pedant tell me how much of a corpse I was might have been the issue?
So, what is it? As the person who had to suffer through your curiosity, I think I deserve an answer.
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[There goes all that cheer again, instead sharpened down to a blade to hold at Vincent's throat.]
Don't pretend to be so devastated. You want to be dead. I'd go as far as to wager you're frustrated you're alive now.
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[ Since the man's earlier comment on suicide attempt. ]
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Just think of it... a suicidal person in a place where he can never die. Tragic.
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I mean... someone who smiles and sounds so happy while being so miserable inside. Do you even have a reason to save your world? I'm not so sure. It must have been unfortunate for you to be chosen when you have nothing to want to live for anymore.
But I guess people are people. You don't know anything else to do but smile and hope someone will love you when you can't love yourself.
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[Vincent might be in the right ballpark, but he's somewhere off in the outfield, well away from stealing home, this time, and Dazai's back up to bat again. Alright. If Vincent wants to play, he'll play for real.]
What will happen to you if you're not really dead, I wonder? Do you go to jail, perhaps? Into hiding from your would-be murderer? Or maybe it's simpler than that, maybe you've convinced yourself your death has some greater meaning, because otherwise you'd have to live out the rest of your meaningless life with the realization that you're truly insignificant, a confluence of molecules floating in a cosmic soup tens of billions of orders of magnitude greater than you are.
[He laughs, nails on broken glass.]
Hey, you were talking to Castiel-san, right? Did you know in his world, there are people who were killed in holy wars fighting for the wrong God? They didn't even know until they woke up in a different afterlife than they were expecting! Say, Vsmith-kun, do you think you'll go to the right one, after we're done here?
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Oh, so you're using another conversation to try to win this one? I guess I don't have the luxury 'cause I don't care enough to hunt down information about you. [ He opens his hands in a dismissive manner. ]
But yes, I will. Because I have faith.
I have something neither Castiel or you have. Belief in something more than myself.
Do you want to matter? I suppose maybe you want to matter to someone since you're fixated on that point, but I'm afraid... I don't think that person cares about you all that much... if they did at all.
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[git gud, scrub.]
Pretending to be above it all only makes you look more desperate, especially with all that projecting you're doing. You want to believe in your God so badly, and yet, they're not here, are they? Echo has you instead, and this God of yours has done nothing to retrieve you.
[He smiles all the brighter.]
What will you do with all that faith of yours, if your universe is destroyed? Even Aurora-chan can't actually promise any of us are really in the running to save our universes.
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[ He starts to laugh. It's a chuckle at first before it becomes hysterical at the idea of his universe being destroyed. Because he's talked to Heather about how they need to figure out what the criteria is so that they can fail.
If it's not taking part in the games, fine. But he's sure it's more than that -- because they wouldn't call him here if it was something so simple as a lack of involvement.
His wheezing stops as he finally responds: ]
You don't understand belief or faith. So why don't you try another route, heretic?
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[A guess, but one he's pretty confident in, from that reaction. He lets out an exaggerated sigh.]
People like you truly are embarrassing. You don't have the courage to end things for yourself, so you try to drag everyone down with you in a huge dramatic production, it's really pathetic!
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You're still off the mark. Didn't I tell you that you should stick to something you understand? You don't have faith. You don't have belief. You have nothing.
Actually, what do you have? Other than the desire to stalk people so you can feel like you understand them? But in the end, you don't know anything at all.
Maybe that's why you're so lonely.
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[He is lonely, in a sense. The only person who ever really tried to understand him is dead. But Vincent is wrong that he doesn't have anything, because it's that beloved person that leads him to try for a world that doesn't matter, in which he has nothing and every action is ultimately so much ash and dust in the wind. Because being on the side that saves people is just a little more beautiful, and Odasaku had wanted that for him.]
Faith was invented because humans fear death. We don't have the speed of cheetahs, the sheer strength of bears, the ability to resist extreme temperatures or natural defenses to ... well, anything, a sharp enough stick will kill us. Humans alone gained the ability to reflect on their mortality, though, and so they invented faith as a means of protecting themselves from the inevitability of that fear and pain. Some seek solace in the notion of an immortal soul, one which transcends the physical body and allows one the promise of rejoining those they have lost, someday, or a cycle of wanderings until eventual spiritual liberation from suffering as a concept can be attained. Others believe there is a little of the divine in everything, in the day to day.
[Dazai is a well and proper nerd, ultimately; he's read plenty on every kind of faith there is.]
...Unfortunately, there's also those that use faith as an excuse to pretend superiority over others, enough so to assume whatever they say is so significant that anyone who happens to have paid attention must be fixated on them specifically. Insufferable people like them always cause more damage than they're worth before finally fading away into obscurity, having accomplished exactly none of their grand goals while the world continues to persist.
You cling to a promise of something more that may never come. I already know there is nothing, and so I have nothing to lose, yet everything to gain.
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